Mark Zuckerberg, PR monstrosity

If you went to the movies this weekend to see either Salt or Inception, you would have seen this trailer.

It's for The Social Network, which is based on how a hoody-wearing average student who happened to attend Harvard founded Facebook.

Now, don't get me wrong--I like hoodies, especially zip hoodies. But when you're being questioned by privacy commissioners, government officials, and the media about how your software violates people's rights to privacy, when people are making public complaints about your company, when your reputation may very well be at stake, you might consider suiting up, so listeners and viewers start taking you a little more seriously.

Perhaps that's what this film will do. Perhaps after seeing The Social Network, due to be released on October 1st, people will feel sympathy for Mark, and appreciate all the equations written with window-writers, the all-nighters, the exclusivity of Ivy League school clubs, etc., etc.

But then again, Jesse Eisenberg is playing him, so probably not.

Truly, True Blood's bloodiest

Last night's episode of True Blood was probably the goriest and most sadistic to date. If Sookie's dependence on Bill had you scrambling for evidence that this show is any different from Twilight, you need only watch "What Do You Know About Love?" for reminder.

Tara finally regains her old attitude. Remember that scene in the pilot, during which Tara tells off the woman with "the ugly ass clothes." Well, after a season of angst and suicide attempts, the old stubborn, angry BADASS Tara is back, and as she says to Sookie, "killin vampires and savin your ass."

Lorena tries, more successfully than last time, to get her say in. It seems like she's always in the way, and is always being pushed back to the margins in favour of more important things, like rescuing Godric, killing maenads, or usurping Sophie-Anne. This time around, Russell recognizes her value, and equipping her with a shiny set of Cool Tools, orders her to do... something I don't think she can possibly do.

Speaking of what I think is going to happen, I really think we should be keeping our eyes on Nan Flanagan. The trailer for the second half of the season shows her coming back, and she's been appearing on national television again recently. Could she have a significant role to play??

Also, we definitely haven't seen the last of Franklin.

"FANTASTIC!"

This week's True Blood was definitely a vast improvement from last week's. If you saw "9 Crimes," but haven't yet had the chance to see this week's, simply named "Trouble," I pity you. Seriously.

In "Trouble," the burner turns up, the heat rises, and the cherry tomatoes start to sweat; things are starting to get urgent, and conflict is bringing out an intriguing array of new emotions in characters. With Pam at the mercy of the Magister and time running out, Eric's game face is starting to budge. After a brief face-off with an uncharacteristically sharp Bill (sharp, perhaps, because he's been so well-fed lately), Eric appears to be running out of steam. And then he shows up with this baby-blue... sweater. It looks good on him, but what the hell? Does Eric actually have the potential to be... sensitive?

Then again, when he rebuffs flirtatious jabs from Talbot as coolly as he does, his smooth ice king personality returns, and our suspicion that Eric might actually have feelings is averted... for the time being.

The other character who starts to unravel this episode is Franklin Mott. Now you knew he was a psycho from the beginning, right? Hello?! He's into Tara. She's a nut-magnet, and not in the good way. When Franklin first swept onto the True Blood stage, he was reserved, calm, and of a steel will. Then his snoopy private eye side was revealed in episode three, "It Hurts Me Too," in which he started glamouring and threatening and saying things like "TellmeeverythingyouknowaboutBillCompton." And THEN he decided to tie Tara up to a toilet seat, at which point his horribly unhealthy attraction to her is made obvious.

James Frain, who plays Franklin, could play this role differently; he could make Franklin creepier, and make him the sneaky slips-in-through-your-window kind of creepy, but he doesn't, and that is where the uniqueness of this character comes into play. We have enough in the way of calculating, fork-tongued creeps from the other vamp characters, and so the obsessive histrionic who waves his hands in the air and stamps his feet when things don't go his way really appeals in terms of its uniqueness. I love what Frain has done with this character, and since, on TV, abusive and emotionally unstable characters tend to have short shelf lives (for a number of obvious reasons), I'm going to savour every scene with him in it.

As characters unravel emotionally, the sexual tension winds up. Jason follows his latest interest, the mysterious Crystal Norris, into a romantic moonlit scene. What set this moonlit scene apart from others though? Well, the fact that, for what might be the first time, Jason takes an interest in something or someone that doesn't lead him to any of the following:

1) recreational drug use

2) religious fanaticism

3) priapism, or any other form of sexual dysfunction

4) witnessing, or becoming the suspect of, a murder that may or may not have been based on a slight degree of racial profiling

5) generally, inadvertent degradation of self or others

Also, Tommy Mickens takes an interest in Jessica, and refers to Hoyt as a mutant overgrown sixth-grader. Lorena takes the sidelines again. Sookie and Alcide? Nooo. Sookie and Alcide? ...Hmmm.... Noooo. Lafayette meets Jesus. No, not the one you're thinking of. Not a Jesus-Lafayette relationship his mom would approve of.

And finally, worthy of mention this episode, Sookie gives someone--I won't tell you who--a well-deserved electric slap in the face. No, it isn't Bill. But I wish it was. Still, it was such a brilliant slap in the face it had Russell proclaiming, "FANTASTIC!"

Forgiveness, please

Why hello there!

Long time no see. Erm, rather, long time no post? Hmm. Actually, I feel like there isn't an equivalent for "long time no see" that really suits this context. Anyway, suffice it to say, I haven't posted for you, whoever you are, in a while, and I feel kind of guilty for that.

My brief absence or lack of activity or whatever you want to call it may very well have something to do with True Blood's little (unacceptable) hiatus. Not that I don't write about anything other than True Blood... I'm just using it as an excuse right now, and am subsequently undermining the attempt.

On that note, so, True Blood? True Blood? What the hell?

There've been quite a few twists lately, and by that, I don't mean plot twists. I mean it in a more literal sense. The following are some twists I should note, and don't worry. Believe it or not, none of them are spoilers, really:

1. Lorena's head.

2. Lorena's use of the English language, e.g. "between you and I" [incorrect]

3. Eric's new mode of transportation

4. Janice, harbinger of make-overs

Going with point 2, actually, there's another language-related technicality I've become aware of. The so-called "magister" vampire played by Zeljko Ivanek, I'm pretty sure, would be more appropriately called magistrate, because that would be more specific. Consider, magister is Latin for "master," whereas magistrate is an official title that always implies judicial power. Just sayin'...

"The hypothetical hardware store..."

This is basically the best photo I could get of Joe Manganiello as werewolf Alcide Herveaux, this episode's newbie character. So far, the three words that most accurately capture him are "amiable," "pliable," and "hot." This does not at all mean he can be counted on to just stand there and look scruffy.

My reasoning here draws on the example of recent newbie Franklin Mott (James Frain), who started to pull a few strings this episode. Shaping up to be a cunning and resourceful detective, Franklin is beginning to emerge as a potential challenger.

Still losing sleep over the accidental shooting of Eggs, Jason's daydreaming lands him in trouble... with other characters who are beginning to notice his bizarre behaviour, and with viewers, who may be starting to tire of the same bullet-in-head trope used to portray his anxious guilt. We get it already. Jason is guilty and paranoid. This episode just barely nudges the table as far as this plot arc is concerned, but we have good reason to suspect something crazy when the shit hits the fan, so to speak.

Sookie is still on the trail of the Nazi-werewolves, which produces an interesting déjà vu of a situation: Sookie at a supernatural creatures bar looking like "dinner," viz., a plucky virgin who buys all her evening wear at SmartSet.

What else happened? ...Hmmm, I can't really recall because 1) I'm tired and 2) the storms today caused me to lose my satellite, so all I got were large gaps throughout the first 15 minutes. There was some shit-shooting between Eric and Sookie, but nothing too sleazy. There was some shit-shooting between Eric and Lafayette, but nothing nearly as intense as last season, when Lafayette drank Eric's blood and suffered the consequences.

Overall, there was a moderate amount of thumb-twiddling, whilst a few minor characters, including Franklin, and good old Lorena, sharpened their fangs.

A storm brewing? I certainly hope so.

Please don't make me shoot you; this is your first episode

The first season of Glee forced me to reach out with clawing hands, desperate to find a show with a plot. In one hand, I had the third season of True Blood, and in the other, Rookie Blue, the new cop drama I'd seen far too many trailers for on Global.

"Please don't make me shoot you; this is my first day on the job!"

That's the line that had me hooked.

And the trailers promised, of course, plenty of drug busts, shoot-outs, steamy encounters in changerooms, and that warm feeling of caffeine-powered police station camaraderie you feel when all the cops get together to be briefed on the latest cases in the neighbourhood.

Sure enough, Rookie Blue delivered on these things.

Coffee? Check. Gun? Check. Badge? Check.

Woman cop in a man's world, with potential father-daughter issues? Check.

Bad-ass undercover cop busting dealers? Check.

Generic bar scene where all the cops (regardless of their undercover status) appear to end up every night? Check.

Other than these curt nods to other police dramas, unfortunately, there seemed to be very little to distinguish Rookie Blue. It really wasn't anything special.

Actually, I would add that it was more often than not less than special. The plot developments were horribly contrived.

Riddle me this: What should your squad do when suspects flee the scene?

Answer: Keep all your best cops on the ground floor to arbitrarily wander the place and do bureaucratic CSI shit, while inexperienced rookies wander off in pairs or alone.

Rookie Blue exploits this impossible situation twice in its premiere, presumably to develop the characters of Andy (Missy Peregrym) and the other generic, stereotypical rookie cops-whose-names-and-faces-I-can-scarcely-care-to-recall. This complete cop-out of a plot device--for lack of a better expression--severely wounds the show's credibility and appeal to any sense of realism. A viewer whose understanding of the police can be limited to a solitary speeding ticket (me) should be able to pick up on the fact that almost none of the cops' actions in Rookie Blue even come close to resembling procedure.

Accidentally shooting a suspect? Okay, that's one thing.

Arresting and detaining an undercover cop long enough for another cop to come out and say "Jim [can't recall if that was his name, don't really care though] is that you?" and the other drug dealer to be like, "Shit you're a cop!"? That's really starting to verge on contrived.

Anyway, that's all I really want to say about Rookie Blue. This here Queen of One Hundred Chances may very well watch the second episode and give Annie-or-whatever-the-fuck-her-name-is and her stock character cop buddies another chance, but consider yourself warned: Rookie Blue lacks a lot.

Now, if you'll excuse me; I'm going to watch an episode of season one of Angel. Kate Lockley and her stock character police buddies might be unoriginal and lame, but at the least the show has the supernatural to make up for that. Maybe the creators of Rookie Blue should throw in some vampires to make things slightly more interesting.

For those outside the mainstream

One of those indie types? I propose for you: Lesbians Who Look Like Ezra Koenig.